Following that feeling

so I messed up

didn't  hustle like they wanted me to

what did I actually say to Mr Iaban

to convince him his mother didn't need us

I remember thinking this admission was going to fast

it wouldn't be worth it to the poor woman and her son

there was a lot noise about it

and this sense of peace to the side

like don't do anything was the way to go

so I didn't

wrote letters to my brother and sister and father instead

and then today

the company was screaming

and my boss was no longer answering my calls

and by god I knew I got lost in my own head again

and screwed up

but what did I actually do

it came to me at the red light

I finally wrote to my family

and that's when I knew

if there's only one thing you can do

in this hour of life

choose

and it doesn't matter what you missed

if it gets you fired

thank god

you didn't miss that turn.

Dorothy epp  01.31.00